重建生活

Despite everything Melaka Anderson ’18 has been through—breast cancer, a double mastectomy, the death of her mother, and Graves’ disease—she believes that God placed her at Mount Mercy at the right time, surrounding her with people to help her overcome the odds.

安德森出生于爱荷华州的滑铁卢，由一位单身母亲抚养长大，她还有三个儿子要照顾； her birth father wasn’t around often.

A man who did play an important role in her life—someone who acted as a father to heris now in prison for a minimum of 17 years.

20岁时，安德森成为了一名母亲。 不久之后，她决定搬到锡达拉皮兹开始新的生活。 去年夏天，她从芒特仁慈学院毕业，获得了刑事司法学位。

马六甲的故事

皇冠体育：告诉我们你小时候在滑铁卢的生活。

马: 从小到大，我和妈妈以及三个兄弟住在一起。 我们在寄养系统待了一段时间，因为从我记事起，我母亲就对毒品上瘾：快克可卡因和阿片类药物。 I knew at age six that things weren’t right. 我过去常常表现出来，对生活从来都不满意。 从很小的时候起，我就知道我想离开，去追求更好的生活。 I didn’t want to accept the way things were. 我们也搬了很多次家。 在我11年级的时候，我去了五所不同的高中； I really didn’t get an 11th-grade education because we moved so much. Things weren’t horrible, but I knew they could be a lot better. 

你为什么决定搬到锡达拉皮兹？

马: 2013年，我知道是时候离开了。 我儿子四岁了。 在花了几个月的时间偿还贷款以避免违约后，我决定搬到锡达拉皮兹，这样我就可以上柯克伍德社区学院了。 When the time came, I left—but I brought my mother with me from Waterloo. That was never my intention, but it’s the way it went. 就在我们搬到锡达拉皮兹之前她得了骨质疏松症。 我们搬到这里大约一年半后，她去了一家养老院，他们给她做了气管切开术。 但她最终出院了，有了自己的公寓。 同时，我专注于我的课程。 我当时正在攻读一个普通学位，但我的课程主要是社会工作和刑事司法。

皇冠体育：你为什么决定专注于刑事司法？

马: 我认为，为了帮助我的人民，我必须进入刑事司法系统。 我相信非裔美国人在我们的监狱里人满为患，我想在缓刑或假释的职位上提供帮助。 为了让事情变得更好，你必须把自己放在帮助自己的人的位置上。 所以我从柯克伍德转到仁慈山，参加了刑事司法项目。

皇冠体育：你在Mount Mercy的一周内经历了两件改变你一生的事情。 告诉我们发生了什么。

刑事司法副教授黛布·布莱登带我去做了乳房肿瘤切除术。 I didn’t have anyone else to go with me.

马: 作为一个单身母亲，一个全职学生，还要照顾我的母亲，我承受着很大的压力。 My body was telling me something was wrong, but I didn’t realize it until I discovered a lump in my breast that wouldn’t go away. 我去看医生做检查了。 They said, “If it doesn’t go away, then come back. We think it might have something to do with caffeine.” It didn’t go away. 然后他们说，他们认为这是一个囊肿，但会让医生再检查一次。 刑事司法副教授黛布·布莱登带我去做了乳房肿瘤切除术。 I didn’t have anyone else to go with me. Afterward, the doctor says, “It looks like a cyst. It doesn’t look cancerous.” 所以我以为我是清白的。 

That same night, my mom returned to her apartment from UnityPoint Health–St. Luke’s Hospital, where she had been hospitalized because she had become very ill. She wasn’t answering her phone and her door was locked, so we found someone who could get into her apartment and bring her to me when I got home. I went upstairs to sleep for a little bit, even though I felt like I shouldn’t. 她在一夜之间去世，享年49岁。 But I wouldn’t trade that experience—taking care of my mom—for anything. She’s my mom, and I loved her. 我愿意重新来过。 她是我最好的朋友。 她所经历的一切，我都和她一起经历了。

在她的追悼会结束后的第二天，警察来敲我的门要福利支票。 They told me I needed to head to my doctor’s office immediately; 医生一直试图联系我。 I couldn’t believe it was happening, but I went to the office right away. 当我到那里的时候，他们告诉我，我在28岁的时候得了乳腺癌。

皇冠体育：在你失去母亲后这么快就听到这个消息，你有什么感觉？

马: 一开始，他们说我只需要一点放疗，可能不需要化疗。 果不其然，我必须进行全面的强化化疗和强化放疗。 它比平时更靠近我的胸壁，导致我失去了乳房，以确保它完全消失。 我还是在化疗的时候去了慈悲山的所有课程。 人们让我放弃，但我必须坚持下去。 I wasn’t doing it just for me. This work was going to remove me from the generational poverty that’s been part of me my whole life.

I didn’t end up doing the second round of chemo because I developed a serious lung infection, spending nearly a week in the hospital. 在那段时间里，我从我最亲近的表妹奎西娅·菲利普斯那里得到了持续不断的情感支持。 她陪我度过了每一个黑暗的时刻。 My son’s school also came through for me—especially Julie Olson Parsons, who introduced me to Rebecca McDowell at a Cedar Rapids church. Rebecca attended all my chemo appointments with me so I wasn’t alone. At the same time, I feel like God was telling me, “Ain’t nobody that can save you but me.” 

皇冠体育: How did you get through such a hard time in your life—and manage to keep going to class?

I felt like this was happening to someone else—not to me.

马: 有一段时间，我变得超然了。 I felt like this was happening to someone else—not to me. 唯一有帮助的是我对上帝的信仰。 他故意把所有人都带走。 And I say that He did it because things just don’t play out the way they played out for me.

我们的家人很亲密，我们会为了这样的事情聚在一起。 因为他，我的整个态度都改变了。 这就是他想要做的。 You can’t be more humbled than this. You can’t look at someone else’s life and feel the empathy the way I do now. 一切都是表面的。 现在我爱每一个人。 我爱我脚下的土地。 我喜欢摸草。 这是他需要为我做的，因为我永远不会独自行动。

皇冠体育: What advice would you share with someone who’s going through tough times like you did?

马: You never know what’s truly going on underneath it all. 我们可能正在经历它，但我们从来没有真正知道上帝在这条路上为我们做了什么。 We might be thinking, “This is the wrong route. 我为什么要这么做？ Why am I going through all of this?” But you’ll get to the other side where you can see it. I can’t tell you how I got from there to here, but I’m here. 上帝带着我。

皇冠体育：你未来的计划是什么？

马: I’m currently working at Right at 回家 in a medical position due to my experiences with caring for others—especially my mother. I’m in the process of interviewing for positions in criminal justice as well, including one with the Anamosa State Penitentiary and the Clarinda Correctional Facility. 我还在做乳房重建手术。 I’m praying that God keeps carrying me along. He’ll bring the right people to me for the right position. I’m ready to go wherever the wind blows. 

继承仁慈的传统

安德森认为，刑事司法副教授黛布·布莱顿（Deb Brydon表示）在其他人不多的时候就在那里。 我们采访了Brydon，了解她是如何支持Anderson的。

是什么鼓励你像现在这样为马六甲服务？

DB: It’s the mercy tradition: serving people in need. Melaka and her son don’t have a solid support system in town. Early on, when she found out she had cancer, they wouldn’t do a procedure unless someone was able to be there and drive her home. 我能够做到这一点，这就开始了支持的过程。 上次她做大手术时，我陪了她的儿子一天，愉快地了解了他。 He’s such a bright, polite, and artistic young man.

皇冠体育：你如何形容她在艰难时期的信念和勇气？

DB: She’s a very strong person. She’s so determined to make a better life for herself and her son than she had growing up. 她想打破这个循环，给他更好的生活。 That’s what drives her. She can relate to many people because of the challenges she’s been through. 她可以将其转化为帮助、协助和挑战他人。